#086: Looking back on "Finding the Gift Inside Ourselves" with Veronica Pullen

Welcome back to the Women on a Mission show. Thanks for joining me today, I hope you’re having a good week. It’s the middle of March as I’m recording today and I’m definitely feeling ready for spring now, how about you?!

This week I met up with the first winner of this season’s coaching giveaway. I really enjoyed our work together and I can’t wait to see who wins this month’s session. I love that these coaching gifts help you to advance in your mission as well as helping me in mine – it’s a win-win so make sure you stay tuned for details of how to get involved.

Ok, let’s get into today’s Insights episode, where I’m looking back at last week’s conversation with Veronica Pullen.  I saw yesterday that Veronica had published a video where she says that she was asked the deepest questions she’s ever been asked on a podcast which filled my heart with joy because I’ve heard Veronica share her story on many occasions and it was great to hear the show is getting to the heart of who we need to be on our mission – exactly as I hoped.

If you haven’t had chance to listen to the interview, we heard how Veronica is the online marketing and copywriting expert for introverted and ambiverted coaches, therapists and service-providers. She works with people who want to create standout social media content that builds engagement, authority and trust and she’s a woman with multiple missions as part of her work.

Let’s take a look at what I noticed…

Today we’re looking back on episode 85 with Veronica Pullen.

Full disclosure to kick off with, I have been one of Veronica’s clients, and witnessed first hand her commitment to building relationships,  and her teaching to help service based business leaders create connection through their engagement online. We have a shared love of language and a shared interest in how language can be used to create more influence and impact in life and business.

As I have thought back over our conversation this week, the one recurrent reflection has been her various references to recognising and working with the unique gifts of individuals.

I’m not suggesting that was a surprise, in fact it’s very much in alignment with how I’ve observed Veronica at work but I think it is the first time I’ve heard her speak with such clarity and passion on important that is. Maybe that’s cos I asked those questions she hadn’t answered on a podcast before – who knows!

From the moment I sensed what the title of the episode needed to be, I had this little earworm running through my mind – the refrain from Look for the Hero Inside by M People (till you find the key to your life) – It goes very nicely with ‘Finding the gifts inside yourself’ too!

The quote from Veronica that sticks in my mind is this:

“Every single one of us has a gift inside of us.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if all of us found it, and honoured it and then thrived in it?”

Find it, honour it, thrive in it.

We mostly love gifts don’t we.  This week I’ve been looking for a wedding gift so it’s doubly topical for me. So I’ve been thinking about different types of gift on all levels…. The gifts that are reciprocal.  The gifts we are presented with. The gifts we are born with and those gifts we develop through our life experience.

I sometimes talk to clients who don’t associate with having gifts or don’t feel that they are immediately apparent. I find that the Byron Katie challenge can be really helpful here ‘Is this true?”  

If you’re not familiar with Byron Katie’s practice of doing what is known as ‘The Work’, this is the first of four questions for questioning who we are being and becoming:

1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to question 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who or what would you be without the thought?

If you’re unaware of ‘The Work’, I do recommend that you check it out – and I’ll come back to this when I’ve shared a couple more thoughts on gifts.

If you’re still not sure on your own gifts, it can be very helpful to ask for feedback and support from others. Ask friends, family, or colleagues what they see as your strengths and what they think you're good at. These conversations can be a wonderful way of building connections, fostering collaborations and building a supportive community.

Sometimes, others can see things in us that we can't see in ourselves.  It’s one of the reasons why people work with coaches and mentors too – I love helping people to explore their strengths and potential as they discover their gifts. There’s something really special about helping a client to understand what happens when they are in tune with their gifts – working in flow or in their zone of genius – so that they can create the conditions for doing their best work in other areas too. That’s how we create the sense of fulfilment that so many women yearn for yet feel its often just out of touch. I’ll come back to this in the second half.

I want to just add that our gifts can take time to emerge and develop. It's okay if you don't feel like you've found your gifts yet – the process of exploring and discovering them can be a journey of self-discovery and growth. Be patient with yourself, stay curious and open-minded, and keep exploring new opportunities and experiences. With time and effort, you may be surprised at what you're capable of and what gifts you have to offer the world.

Another conversation about gifts, that I often have as a coach, is when a client brings a difficult or challenging situation to our session. The sort of challenge where it’s easy to get stuck in the mire and you just can’t find your way out on your own.  I think there are often gifts in these situations and, in my experience, the gift may simply be a piece of learning rather than easy or immediate resolution. I’ve noticed that the universe is rather keen on learning – and there is a school of thought that says the universe will keep dishing up the lessons until we learn them, so I think we might as well check that we’ve grabbed the learning as early as possible! Anyway, back to my clients. Asking where is the gift, in a challenging situation, can often shift our focus to things that we can do something about, rather than things we can’t. It can shift how we feel about something and even if the answer or solution isn’t immediately obvious, we can now see a different set of benefits in the steps we now need to take… or not take.  When we change our thinking about a challenge, we are better able to cultivate the resilience, empathy and growth that sees us through challenging situations and helps us to emerge stronger.  For complete transparency, I am now sat here talking to you thinking about a challenging situation I’ve been involved in this week, and wondering what I might have done differently if I’d shifted my own thinking and looked for the gift!

It was Rachel Flower who reminded us that gifts are not always tied to positive experiences or outcomes. We can find gifts in the midst of pain, struggle, and adversity. I’m not going to repeat my reflections on Rachel’s story here, but if finding the gifts in adversity is something you would like to learn more about, do check out episodes 75 and 76 for the story of Rachel’s extraordinary mission.

I’m not quite done with the gifts in Veronica’s story, so stay tuned and I’ll be back in 60 seconds.

[COMPETITION TIME: Today I’m asking for your help.

I’m on a mission to STOP women playing small so that they can think, dream and BE bigger in leading the change they want to see in the world, and I need your help to reach more women.



As a thank you I’ll be giving away a free online coaching session each month during this season - so four lucky listeners will win an hour with me during  Season 6. 

It’s super easy to enter.

Go to the Apple or Goodpods platform and leave a review of this episode, telling us how it helped you or why you enjoyed it. 



If you take a screenshot and share it on your own socials, you’ll get an extra entry for each post.

Use the hashtag #womenonamission and remember to tag me in so that we see it!

The winner will be announced on the first episode of the following month, so do keep listening!]

I said earlier that there’s something really special about helping a client to understand what happens when they are in tune with their gifts.  Veronica referred to several times to soul alignment and you’ll have heard me talk in previous episodes about being in flow in your mission, or working in your zone of genius.

When clients talk to me about feeling unfilled in their work it often comes down to one of three things:  they haven’t yet found their mission (or sometimes their next mission) and they’re stuck in the wrong place; they haven’t yet stepped fully into their mission and they’re stuck on the threshold; or they’ve made the leap but they’re stuck in the wrong things!

So here’s the bit I want to make sure you didn’t miss in Veronica’s story. The bit that made my heart sing.

It took a long time to get here.  Veronica is a great story teller.  She’s methodical and logical in her sharing.  She took us through all the stuff she DID to get where she is today. She showed us all the gifts in all the adversity. She owned her brilliance in what she does and her uncompromising focus on where she is going.

And then I heard the words that make the difference in truly BEING a woman on a mission.

She did the work.

Right at the end of her answer on her fears and resistance she talked about how she did the inner work to change the version of her that arrived in the business world, and she still has a lot more to do.

And Veronica returned to this when I asked who or what she would BE differently if she had time over again.  She said she would have worked on herself earlier, she’d have gone even harder with a coach because she needed to think differently.  She reminded us that we never get where we want to go without changing where we are now.  Or, as the book says, ‘What got you here, won’t get you there’.

And that’s why I wanted to talk to Veronica.  She’s made that shift that I use in my definition of being in flow. Flow is what we create when what we do and how we do it are completely aligned with who we are and how we express it.

One of my mantra’s is that your business only grows as fast as you do. Since working more specifically with women who are on a mission to create change in the world, I’ve tweaked that to your mission only grows as fast as you do. If we really want to be impactful leaders, we have to shift our focus from what we do, to who we are.

I’ve observed business owners and change leaders investing all their time and resources in how they set up and prepare, what they need to do and what they need to know to do it. They can be the most wonderful and effective do-ers.  Some even move beyond that and work on their mindset. And that’s really important and powerful too.

But it’s when we do the work on who we are, who we are becoming and how that aligns with our ultimate purpose – deep at the very heart of ourselves – that I believe we reach ultimate alignment and that state of flow.

And that’s the continuing work that Veronica describes. The more of the inner work we do, the greater the impact we make and the more our mission grows.

I’m so grateful to Veronica for bringing that alive for us in sharing the story of her mission.

And, if I can help you with that inner work, or you’d like to explore what that would look like for you, you can reach out via my website at Sue Revell dot com, and I’ll be in touch. Or enter the coaching giveaway I mentioned earlier – to be in with a chance of winning an initial session with me.

My last word, as ever, goes to my guest.

Veronica, thank you so much for sharing your extraordinary story.  You said in your video this week that these are the deepest questions you have answered on a podcast, and I know it takes courage to be that honest so thank you so much for BE-ing that person who shares from the heart, so that other people can learn. I’m so excited to see what happens next in your mission as you share your gifts and continue to do the inner work and BE the unique person that only you can be.

I am so grateful to you for joining me on the show.   Thank you.

Thanks for tuning in again today.  I’ve loved spending time with you as always and I really hope that Veronica’s story has inspired you to think about who you are being and who you are becoming in your mission.

If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve heard, do hit the FOLLOW button wherever you are listening so that you don’t miss out on future episodes.

And if you’d like to stay in touch with Women on a Mission news, go to the show notes at womenonamission.club and fill in the big pink box on the main page to make sure you get the next edition of Mission Mojo sent straight to your inbox!

Next week I’ll be talking to Kate Flounders, founder of the Safeguarding Association. A  specialist in safeguarding 15-25year olds, Kate uses her knowledge and skills from an almost 20 year legal career - and as an independent safeguarding chair and trustee – to help safeguarding leads to feel confident in the external and internal processes necessary to protect those young people they work with.

Another very different conversation and I can’t wait to share it with you!
 
That’s it for today, my friend. Thank you for being with me as always. Have a wonderful week, and I’ll see you next time.